WASHINGTON - Amid intense criticism over the failure of coalition weapons inspectors to locate any of the alleged weapons of mass destruction possessed by the regime of ousted Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein, a visibly angry Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld repeated his assertion that the weapons will be found, and intimated that reporters interested in such discoveries might wish to initiate a search of his pants.

"You want to see a biological warhead, people?" asked an increasingly confrontational Rumsfeld at a Defense Department briefing over the weekend. "Let's just say I know exactly where you can find one that's well over the UN-mandated size limit."

When asked where a weapons program as large as the one American and British intelligence alleged the Iraqi regime possessed could be hidden for as long as it apparently has been could be hidden, Rumsfeld suggested that he could show the press corps examples of just such a hiding place if certain reporters were to bend over.