Cheese Bible
Careers at ATF
All Too Flat is an exciting and dynamic place to work. We are always looking for bright, enthusiastic, creative, self-motivated team players who like to work hard and play hard. ATF offers an excellent compensation and benefits package, including stock options and a 401 K with generous match and vesting schedule. In addition, we provide all our employees with Wegman's subs for lunch and Hefeweissen Bier on Fridays.

Please e-mail your resume as ASCII, HTML, Word, or LaTeX to No phone calls please.

ATF has the following current job openings. If there isn't a position open, please don't hesitate to send your resume. We'll keep it on file and contact you if something opens up.

Senior Software Engineer

We are looking for a Senior Software Engineer to head our .Net Business Applications Development sector.

Desired Qualifications
  • An undergraduate degree in computer science or engineering-related field.
  • 3 to 5 years development experience and an understanding of the software development life cycle.
  • Excellent communication skills, both oral and written.
  • Object Oriented Design and Programming experience with C#, C++, COM+, SQL Server and UML or other relevant technologies (e.g., HTML, XML, XSL, SOAP, ASP)
  • Look, I'll be honest. We'll hire the first person who can tell us what any of those fucking terms mean!
  • Helper Monkey

    We are looking for a Helper Monkey to get us snacks, including but not limited to Wegman's subs.

    Responsibilities Include
  • Mostly getting us things.
  • Also a fair amount of typing

    Desired Qualifications
  • Able to remember all employees sub orders, or be able to write it down in a Palm Pilot.
  • Must be willing to relocate near Wegman's.
  • Must be over 21 or possess a good fake ID.
  • Knowledge of Shakespearean prose a plus

    NEW: Monkey Referral Program: To assist in our efforts to rewrite Timon of Athens, we are implementing a referral program. Refer 1,000 helper monkeys and get a free t-shirt!

  • E-Fort Defender

    We are looking for someone to hold down the e-fort when one or more of us can't be at a terminal for any length of time.

    Responsibilities Include
  • Sitting at a Net connection
  • Surfing the web and forwarding interesting / funny URLs to the ATF team during work hours
  • Looking up the answers to any questions we have on any subject

    Desired Qualifications
  • Proficiency at hitting "N"
  • Promise to never send an e-mail forward, no matter how funny you think it is.
  • Ability to use the Google advanced search like a fucking champ
  • Must be willing to sign an Non-Disclosure Agreement (Can't have the public knowing what kind of smut Kennyb likes to look at!)
  • Must get all of our jokes, even the really geeky ones
  • Join All Too Flat now!
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