Help Me Name My...
 
 
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PREFACE: CONTRIBUTION
Iíve got it--every day
Iíll write some haiku about
Wasting time at work!
POLITICS MAKES FOR STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
Andrew Sullivan,
Gay conservative Catholic
(I like Hitchens, too)
FRUSTRATION
Web-based AOL
Donít you know who I am yet?
Lousy interface
DARTS
We stopped playing when
My boss noticed the countless
Holes in the plaster
WEDNESDAY
Midtown Comicsí site
Has a list, but I go to
Jim Hanleyís, though.
DIET COKE
Is Nutra*Sweet a
Carcinogen? I hope not.
That was my fourth can
ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES
I see more nude men
In a given day than most
Locker-room staffers
TECHNOLOGICAL MARVEL
Only two megs left
My IPodís limitation?
Way too much Bowie
WEDNESDAY II
That one Asian girl
Is nice, but that black dude is
A Grade-A asshole
NOSTALGIA
The Savage Dragon
Message Board? Itís been a while.
I kinda burned out.
CO-WORKER
If we had a ball
Of some kind--Nerf, perhaps--I
Wouldnít punch his head
STYMIED
I spent good money
On those "Easy Rider" mags.
Canít I hang them up?
CLARIFICATION
Okay, so when I
Said "I spent good money," I
Meant A&F did
SATISFACTION
O havarti cheese
You transform my tuna melt
Sandwich of the Gods
REPETITION, OR:
CORPORATE CONTROL OF MAJOR NEWS MEDIA OUTLETS

Same goddamn stories
On all the network news sites.
Nice reporting, guys!
SNOOD
I stopped enjoying
This a half hour ago now.
I hate those square guys.
DELUGE
Every toilet here
Is leaking onto the floor.
Now my pants are wet.
THE ONION
Am I the only
Person whoís noticed this is
The worldís slowest site?
UPCOMING NUPTIALS
Iím uncomfortable
Buying invitations from
Sites with broken links
UPCOMING NUPTIALS II
How will I pick a
Tuxedo out anyway?
I wear pink with red
SUNSET
Itís a simple joy
To see the golden sunís rays
Light up the buildings
SUNSET II
Iíd like to go home
But my idiot cohorts
Came in three hours late
SELF-AWARENESS
I complain a lot
But I could always turn off
The damn computer.
ALLTOOFLAT.COM
Broken links, I feel,
Are simply a challenge for
You three to surmount



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