ALLTOOFLAT.COM PART II: HELP ME NAME MY CROCODILE
Hence my anger when
A friendly reminder is
Greeted with disdain

SUBWAY
Foot-long tuna on,
White, three chocolate chip cookies,
A Diet Pepsi

PROPAGANDA
A&F Poster
12 feet square, Orwellian
(If Orwell were gay)

EDIT BOOKMARKS
Comics, movies, news,
Commentary. Where should I
Put Amazon, huh?

DELIVERY
Why all these menus?
They pile up. Are we supposed
To take a bunch home?

AINTITCOOL.COM
As the days go by
Since “LOTR”’s debut,
My interest declines.

HIGH PRAISE
Twisted genius and
Subtle virtuosity:
Make me worthy, Lord.

CORNER OF LEROY AND HUDSON
Logic suggests that,
To maintain this year-round stench,
Poop comes here to die

THE OFFICE RIGHT ACROSS FROM THE ELEVATOR
We’re visited by
Every delivery guy.
I should make a sign.

O. HENRY
The iconoclast
Is a shill for corporate clothes.
Am I a punchline?

O. HENRY II: NO HENRY
Give me a damn break.
It’s not like I wear them, and
People have to eat.

O. HENRY III: WHOA, HENRY
Besides, haven’t you
Ever really thought about
How I spend my days?